Thanksgiving Questions for Couples: 30 to Ask After Dinner
By Jess Rowan4 min read
The guests have left, the dishwasher is running, and there is still half a pie on the counter. That hour after Thanksgiving dinner is one of the best times all year for the two of you to actually talk. You're full, you're tired in the good way, and nobody needs anything from you.
Here are 30 Thanksgiving questions for couples to bring into that hour. Some are about gratitude, some are about the year you just had, and some look ahead. Pick a few, skip the rest, and let the good ones run long.
Better Together: Couples Edition
150 questions for two, from light to deep, so you never have to think of the next one. Ships in 1 to 2 business days.
See the deckWhy the hour after dinner works so well
Most of the year, the two of you talk in between other things. On the way to work, while cooking, while one of you scrolls. Thanksgiving night is different. The big job of the day is done, the house is warm, and there's a whole holiday built around saying what you're thankful for. That gives you an easy opening for questions you'd never ask on a random Tuesday.
How to use these questions
Take turns. Whoever answers picks the next question. If one lands, stay on it. You don't need to get through the list, and three good answers beat thirty quick ones.
Hosting family this year? Save these for after everyone goes home. Traveling? They work well on the drive back, when you're both still buzzing from the day.
Gratitude questions to start with
- What's one small thing I did this year that you were thankful for, even if you never mentioned it?
- What part of our everyday routine would you miss most if it disappeared?
- Who outside our relationship made this year easier for us?
- What's something about our home that you're grateful for right now?
- When did you feel really lucky to be with me this year?
- What's one thing about yourself you're proud of from this year?
- Which tradition from your childhood are you most glad you still have?
- What's a hard thing from this year that turned out better than you expected?
- What do you think I'm most grateful for this year? I'll tell you if you're right.
- If you could thank one person from your past for who you are today, who would it be?
Questions about the year you just had
- What was the best day we had together this year?
- What's something new we tried this year that you'd do again?
- When did you laugh the hardest this year?
- What's one thing you learned about me this year that surprised you?
- What was the best meal we ate this year, not counting tonight?
- What song will always remind you of this year?
- What's a decision we made this year that you're glad we made?
- When did we feel most like a team this year?
- What's one thing that stressed you out this year that you never told me about?
- If this year were a movie, what would the title be?
Photos: M F and Oksana Zub on Unsplash
Questions about what comes next
- What's one tradition you want us to start this holiday season?
- Where do you want us to be next Thanksgiving?
- What's something you want to get better at next year?
- What's one trip you want us to take before next Thanksgiving?
- What do you want more of in our weeks together?
- What's something you want to say yes to more often?
- Who do you want us to spend more time with next year?
- What's a small habit that would make our evenings better?
- If we hosted Thanksgiving next year, what would we do our own way?
- What are you looking forward to that has nothing to do with work?
The five-minute version
Some Thanksgivings end with both of you asleep on the couch by nine. If that's your night, go with this short version. Each of you answers just three questions: number 1, number 11 and number 22. One about gratitude, one about the year, one about next year. It takes five minutes, and it still feels like you marked the day together.
If you're spending Thanksgiving apart
Work, travel or family can split couples up for the holiday. Pick a time after both of your dinners are done and call. Pour the same drink, and go through the gratitude questions over video. The questions about next year are a nice way to end the call, because they're all about being together.
Make it a tradition
Some couples write down one answer each year and keep the notes in a jar. Others take a photo of the two of them on the couch after the last guest leaves. Pick something small you'll actually repeat, so next year's version of this conversation has something to look back on.
Questions couples ask
When should couples ask Thanksgiving questions?
After dinner, once the guests have gone home, or on the drive back if you're traveling. Twenty to thirty minutes is plenty. Take turns, and let whoever answers pick the next question.
What's a good gratitude question to ask your partner?
Try "What's one small thing I did this year that you were thankful for, even if you never mentioned it?" It's specific, easy to answer, and usually leads to a story you haven't heard.
What is Better Together?
Better Together is a couples conversation card game. The Couples Edition has 150 questions across five categories (Reflections, Pillow Talk, Deep Dive, Future Us and Wildcard), each marked light, medium or deep, plus three action cards: Pass, Switch and Reverse. It's made for two players ages 17 and up, a full game takes 30 to 90 minutes, and the questions were developed with licensed relationship experts.
For more ideas, see our conversation starters for couples or browse date night gifts.
